There’s not much we can do to halt the relentless march of time. No matter how hard we try to ignore it, aging sneaks up on us like a ninja in sensible shoes. Just think about those moments when you scroll through last year’s phone photos and wonder who that fresh-faced person is, or when you slather on anti-aging cream like it’s frosting for your wrinkles. Then there’s the shock of bumping into a childhood friend at the supermarket and realizing they look more like their parents now—or worse, yours! And let’s not forget the epic struggle of scrolling through a drop-down menu to find your birth year, only to realize it’s practically in ancient history.
These hilarious yet sobering reminders keep us grounded as we navigate our ever-evolving lives and grapple with time’s fleeting nature.
Bored Panda recently compiled a list titled “50 Moments That Made People Realize They’re No Longer Young,” and we’ve cherry-picked our top 15 favorites while adding some gems of our own for good measure!
1. There’s nothing like being carded at 40 – But what happens when you stop getting carded? You know you’re officially a old when you stroll into a restaurant or liquor store, order your drink, and the server doesn’t even flinch about asking for ID. Remember those days when getting carded was as inevitable as taxes? Now it’s like they’ve got some secret memo that says, “Let ’em through; they’re definitely over 21… and probably have kids.”
2. (Absolutely true story) I was dating a girl who was about 15 years younger than me, and when I played some tunes from the late ’90s, she casually remarked, “Oh, you like the golden oldies.” I valiantly attempted to explain that the “golden oldies” were actually songs from the 50s and 60s. But then it dawned on me—maybe I’m ancient!
Riding that realization wave, I flipped through Rolling Stone Magazine recently and didn’t recognize a single Billboard No. 1 artist on their singles list. It hit me like a ton of bricks: to today’s teens and twenty-somethings, ’90s music is what ’60s music was to us back in the day!
3. Alright, I was all set with the classic swear abbreviations like “SOB” and “WTF,” but when those 20-somethings started dropping new ones on social media like “FYFI,” “FTFW,” “JFGI,” and “ASAFP,” I had to make a pit stop at the Urban Dictionary. It’s like trying to decode a secret language where vowels are optional, and I’m just trying not to accidentally insult someone’s grandma! BTW (By the way) you can find those answers here.
4. When I discovered my sciatic nerve. OH SH*T… So, you randomly bend over to pick up a piece of paper and it’s LIGHTS F**KING OUT. Let’s talk about pain. Actually, let’s not. It doesn’t happen often but when it does, I’m (literally) crawling around my house.
5. I kept calling the recently-hired colleague the “new kid” in the office, only to discover he’s 31. Whoops! Guess I need to update my definition of “kid.”
6. What in the world?! Why won’t my 2008 wardrobe cooperate anymore? And where did my six-pack abs disappear to? Nooooooo!!!!! Looks like my clothes and I have both been on a growth journey!
7. It’s a real knee-slapper when your coworkers look at a rotary phone like it’s an ancient artifact and think a public pay phone is just urban legend. Meanwhile, you remember the glory days of dialing those circular numbers every day and hunting down pay phones like they were Pokémon. And let’s not forget the pocket full of change—because who didn’t love jingling around like a human piggy bank just in case you needed to make an emergency call? Ah, the good old days!
8. When you tune into some of my favorite TV shows from the late 70s and 80s, like The Incredible Hulk, it’s like stepping into a time machine where the cars look so hilariously ancient you’d think they were powered by dinosaurs instead of gasoline!
9. Isn’t it hilarious when you’re scrolling through dating profiles, thinking, “Wow, that person is WAY too old,” only to notice you’re actually a year older than them?
10, So, there I was in Australia, hopping from dance club to dance club, only to find myself surrounded by a sea of 18 to 25-year-olds. Feeling like the chaperone at a high school prom, I asked this sprightly 20-something where the more “seasoned” folks hang out. With a grin that could light up Sydney Harbour, he said, “Oh sure! We have clubs for the ELDERLY too. Follow me and I’ll show you.”
“Who you callin’ elderly??? I’m still young enough to whoop your …. never mind. Next.”
11.When you’re binge-watching a TV show from the 1980s and 90s and suddenly it hits you like a ton of bricks that those celebs who seemed ancient back then were probably your age now. Daayyyuumm!! Time to check for gray hairs!
12. Remember those glorious days when you could devour anything without a care in the world about gaining weight? If you’re over 40, 98 percent of you are nodding along because now just glancing at a chocolate cake seems to magically add 5 pounds. It’s like our metabolism decided to retire early and move to Florida!
13. (So, you’re single) and suddenly those chubby and overweight folks you wouldn’t have glanced at twice a decade ago are starting to look like runway models. Don’t worry about the 50-year-old guy up there—he might just be the next Casanova in town!
14. When hair dye somehow ends up on your grocery list. Wait! Is that gray hair? WTF?!?!? Can’t be. I’m still wayyyy too young for this.
15. So there I was, chatting with a younger writer buddy of mine who also happened to be a cop in California. I casually mentioned Ponch and John, expecting a nod of recognition. But nope, he had absolutely NO CLUE who they were! I’m sitting there thinking, “Ponch and John… CHiPs! You know, the iconic show about two California cops on motorcycles? You’re literally living their life!” But he just stared at me blankly. At that moment, I felt like I’d just discovered fire or invented the wheel—ancient as dirt!
PLEASE SHARE YOUR “OFFICIALLY OLD” MOMENTS BELOW.
